We all have it. At some point in our Lupus journey, we encounter a stumbling block that challenges our belief systems. I was a great speller, BL. (Before Lupus). Now I find myself typing a simple word and wondering whether it's correct or not. More than likely, it's not.
I received an email this morning that I quite frankly, can't understand. It's probably a simple thing I need to do, to follow the instructions, but somehow my mind can't quite wrap around it. It's not anything that I could be arrested for, lol, but it seems like it to me....or the person I used to be, BL. (Before Lupus -- Oh, yeah, I said that already.)
I've had a small flare recently, and that may have something to do with it, or maybe it's my advanced age -- I'll be 74 in April. I only know it ticks me off that my brain doesn't work like it used to. I was a multi-tasker par excellence. I could carry on a telephone conversation while scanning my emails. I could cook and keep track of what's happening on television. Now, it's "choose one."
And, to make matters even more complicated, I've learned that once I have a flare, or any kind of minor illness that non-Lupies experience, too, like a stomach virus, I don't snap back in a hurry. In fact, it takes several days to recoup my energy and mental faculties.....which went AWOL when I first exhibited the symptoms of the stomach bug. No, now when I am actually over the flu, or bug, or whatever, I don't go back to where I was before.
You would think it would be that way. But with lupus, and/or my age, I find that I don't go back to where I was before....I go back a step BEFORE I had the flare, or the bug, or whatever knocked me flat.
My friends who are my age, tell me it happens to them, too....that they don't snap back to "normal" after being sick with something. So I don't think I can expect anything more.....
But, it's like the old expression: A mind is a terrible thing to waste.